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Monday, February 20, 2012

Guest Post : Tips for Getting Back Together with an Ex



To continue is our Relationships Guest Posts , today we have Meggin Sanchez with Tips for Getting Back with your ex - if you are still pining for him.
Meggin Sanez is a guest post author who enjoys writing about dating and relationships.  In addition, Meggin owns Black Singles Dating Sites where she offers information about safe online dating to the black community. 
Tips for Getting Back Together with an Ex
If you ended a relationship with your ex and are toying with the idea of rekindling the old flame, you could be asking for trouble.  However, there are some cases of break-ups where ex-couples realize their mistakes and have the ability to forgive and foster a new relationship that is stronger and happier than it ever was before.  So that you make the right decision and don’t meet the same fate in the relationship that you met previously, be sure to check out the following tips for getting back together with an ex:
1. Analyze what went wrong.  If the cause of the break-up between you and your ex was something that can ultimately be forgiven, there is hope that the relationship can work.  However, if trust was broken due to lying, cheating or other scandalous behavior, the chances for a successful revival are low to very low.  Trust is the key ingredient to any healthy relationship and without it all you are left with is a recipe for disaster. 
2.Learn from your mistakes.  If you plan to move on to a better relationship with your ex and they aren’t the only one to blame for the downfall of the partnership, then it’s crucial that you reflect on the mistakes you made so that you don’t make them again.  Look at your former relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to grow as a person.  Be mindful of the things you did before that contributed to the demise of the relationship and do your best to avoid the old habits when they start creeping up on you again.
3.Leave the past in the past.  If you decide that you are willing to give the relationship a second shot, the only way it’s going to work is if the two of you forget the past and start fresh.  If you dwell on what went wrong before and never let your ex live it down, there is no hope for a positive future.  It’s difficult to do and will take a lot of effort on both parts, but the two of you must forgive each other and never look in the rear view mirror. 
4.Take it slow.  Diving headfirst back into the toxic pool that was the former relationship you shared with your ex can be risky business.  After a break-up, time and space is needed for each of you to heal, process what went wrong, and determine whether or not the relationship is worth salvaging.  If it is, be sure that you take it slow when getting back together so that you don’t fall into the same, destructive patterns that tore you apart before. 
5.Don’t settle.  Sure, when you break up with someone you are likely to be feeling lost, lonely and missing your ex like crazy.  But if you know that your ex isn’t the right person for you and you’re considering getting back together with them because the crippling fear of being alone for the rest of your life is taking over, then you aren’t going to wind up happy in the end.  Don’t waste your time trying to fix something that can’t be fixed.  Instead, embrace the opportunity to be single and find happiness within yourself rather than relying on someone else for it.  Be patient and trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right.

8 comments:

  1. Well, for so many reasons Gina and I just don’t know where to start. Chances are, your parents weren’t good models for you, your average romantic comedy doesn’t provide good advice, Disney’s notions are ridiculously stereotyped at best, and your friends, well, how many successful, long term relationships have they had? And this is just the base cultural soil we plant our relationship seed in (not very good as you can see). It doesn’t even begin to include a consideration of the damage violent and abusing parenting , or bad past relationships, can do to our ability to trust and attach. And don’t even get us started on so called “professional” guidance.

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    Replies
    1. An interesting response , it's always good to hear different feedbacks . In some circumstances if you think that your ex was your soulmate and there were obstacles in a way , say you get back together 3-4 years down the track. I would at least agree to give it a go. But then if you had an abusive ex , then you definitely would not try and get him back and if you wanted to , then obviously you are not in the right-mind. I think in the end though, this article is one persons perspective and it all boils down to like most things in life , Common Sense.

      Delete
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  3. - I am kasha i lives in uk and i was in a serious relationship with my ex guy for three good years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us.. Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to one of the spiritual diviner (maduraitemple@yahoo.com).at first i thought it was not going to be possible and i contacted him i was ask to come up with a little requirement,so i did what i was ask to do, after 3 days i was in my office when my ex guy called me and was asking me to forgive him and come back to him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me,so ever since we have been happily married with one kid my lovely baby(Ceslav)...i wish you the best of luck...

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